THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2017

If the 7 Dwarfs Were Girls

    I love the 7 Dwarfs.  Who wouldn’t?  They’re so cute.  You just want to take their cheeks between your fingers and pinch them until they’re glowing.  Or, lift them up underneath their arms, set them on a table, and have a wonderful conversation with them.
    But, what if they were girls?  They’d be Dwarfettes! How would cartoonists …

    I love the 7 Dwarfs.  Who wouldn’t?  They’re so cute.  You just want to take their cheeks between your fingers and pinch them until they’re glowing.  Or, lift them up underneath their arms, set them on a table, and have a wonderful conversation with them.
    But, what if they were girls?  They’d be Dwarfettes! How would cartoonists depict them? Their names would be the first that would have to be altered. Grumpy would be Frumpy; Sneezy, Gesundheit; Dopey, Mopey; Bashful would be Flush; Happy, Giddy; Sleepy, Drowsy; and Doc, well she would be Princess.  How would their creators portray them? Would they be cute? beautiful? sexy? Would they glorify each of them so men would have a delightful mix of beauties from which to choose?  Or, would they liken them to the same variety as they did the original Dwarfs the world fell in love with?
    It’s not hard to imagine the unveiling of Frumpy. Poor girl never goes out for fear someone will poke fun at her manner of dress. Her insecurities flash like a neon sign. She likely will never know how she fits in today’s styles with her red plaid blouse, purple polka-dotted skirt, and her neck draped with her mustard-colored Cheche.
    Curly-headed, freckled-face Gesundheit’s red nose matches her blazing red hair. But, do people keep their distance for fear of catching her cold, or is it the taste of her fiery tongue they most fear? She has seen progress during her anger management program, but easily slips back into explosive mode with little to no warning at all.
    Mopey’s brunette hair serves to complement the low-cut, high-rise red dress she dons. No doubt, she is a knockout. If you don’t believe it, just ask her: her ruby lips will tell you so. Quite the tease, too. Men fall all over themselves for a chance meeting, and are drawn to her regardless of her sullen demeanor. Rumor has it she lost the love of her life to a best friend and has never quite gotten her act together since. As a result, she makes all men pay the price by inviting love, only to break their hearts in the end.
    Flush’s naivety is terribly appealing and attracts every smooth-talker within a 100-mile radius. Don’t let her innocence fool you, however. This is one book you can’t judge by its covers. She finds herself in compromising situations constantly, not yet discovering the power behind, “No,” because she’s never uttered the word.
    Giddy is anybody’s fair catch. She’s delightfully pleasant as a friend and man’s ideal dream (after he’s done sewing his wild oats).  She’s definitely rare. Good girls are hard to find these days. She never misses church, spreads good will, has a servant’s heart, and is waiting for someone who will appreciate her purity. Her standards are high. Those sewing wild oats will be sifted and blown away with the chaff.
    Always in search for a job, Drowsy doesn’t have the get-up-and-go it takes to keep one for longer than two weeks. No one has yet to discover the prescription in her purse which helps her deal with an underlying depression. She stumbles her way through life, longing for someone – anyone to reach out and unveil the loneliness that has gripped her soul. 
    Princess … va-va-voom! She is the mark of excellence. Mom and Dad have showered her with the best of everything. Her arrogance outshines the flawless beauty which is easily overlooked at the sense of such wealth. She will never want for anything but true love.
    It’s pretty typical of our assortment of women today, don’t you think? Take your pick. Who’s your favorite Dwarfette? Probably not a tough decision.

 

 

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