FRIDAY, JULY 20, 2018

Marriage: Are You a Passive Listener or an Interrupting Converser?

“Were you listening to me?” I’ve asked my husband that a time or two. How about you? If he was, you wonder why his actions conveyed the end result. …

“Were you listening to me?” I’ve asked my husband that a time or two. How about you? If he was, you wonder why his actions conveyed the end result. …

It’s important how you listen, whether husband or wife. When words are spoken, consider them precious. Be attentive. Engage. When you’re a passive listener, you only absorb a portion of what’s being said. Your memory is not going to engage and lock in important details.

Equally important to the one articulating, if it can wait, let it. Then, talk when you have someone’s full attention. If you distract your spouse when they’re engrossed in a television program, for instance, you will most likely be disappointed when they ask you to repeat yourself.

The feeling of unimportance that it makes both parties feel – whether the interrupting converser or the passive listener – is damaging to any marriage. When trying to communicate through words, be considerate of one another. Words are penetrating. When they fall on passive ears, they don’t even prick the skin. When someone’s focus is interrupted, his/her mind is most likely still engaged on its interest, and at that moment, it’s not you.

 

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